There is a great distubance… In my pants.

So I got some new jeans the other day. Which is a pretty big deal. Ever since my favorite place to buy my denim duds, Steve & Barry’s, went under I was no longer able to get my ultra hip, ultra cheap, Kenyan slave made trousers at the unbeatable price of of $8. That’s a pretty bitching price. Well anyway, I was pretty upset about not being able to buy new jeans for the rest of my life, when what should I stumble upon at WalMart? Faded Glory jeans, on sale, $8. BAM!

I bought some. They fit pretty well. They are pretty tough. So I’m cool with it. The only thing is the waist is a bit higher than what I am used to. This causes an interesting anomaly. It causes the matirial of the jeans to bunch up around the crotch when I am sitting down, forming what many of you know as, a Pants Boner.

Unlike it’s dirtier brother, the Pants Boner does not actually contain spongy tissue that becomes engorged with blood when aroused. It is just the fabric of the pants bulging forth in what, to the naked eye, appears to be a Boner.

So the other day I’m sitting at my desk. Wearing my $8 pants. Chillaxin. This lady comes over with her daughter and askes me about books on Julie Andrews. I’m leaning back in my office chair as I describe where these books can be found, and then I look back at the lady… She’s looking at my crotch.

I was taken aback. But I kept on like nothing was up until she had heard enough and walked away. Then I looked down at my dick. I had a massive obvious Pants Boner poking up between the untucked front of my button up shirt.

I’m pretty sure that lady was impressed.