March 2010
1 post
Christianity is a sickness. Like a virus.
In genetics, a frequently encountered problem is the unintentional mutation of healthy, living cells into horrific, deadly viruses. The root cause of this mutation is attempting to warp and change a cell that was already healthy and functional to suit a preconceived purpose.
Just like those healthy cells, the teachings of Christ (or Moses or Mohammed, but I won’t go into that) were healthy and...
May 2009
2 posts
My Girlfriend (is crazy)
This is not an actual picture but pretty god damn close.
Why do I always date crazy chicks? Is it what I’m attracted to? Or do they slowly become crazy over time because I drive them to it?
Impossible to say…
Today is a beautiful day (To do a massive amout of...
It’s days like this I wish I weren’t at work. Partly Cloudy and 70 degrees, an ever-so-slight breeze. The sweet smell of spring in the air. Absolutly beautiful.
Man, if I weren’t at work, I’d do a shit-load of cocaine. I’m talking a massive week long coke bender. It’ll be like the fucking Alps going up my nose.
Some people like to grill out on days like today....
April 2009
1 post
Everyone Who Believes in Ghosts is a Moron......
A study into the dark heart of paranormal activity preformed by the science team here at justiceisserved.tumblr.com, revealed that people that think ghosts are real are morons. In fact, of the 89 people surveyed on the subject, 88 of them were dumb, boring, assholes, that just wanted to sound like their pitiful life had some kind of meaning. The other one is actually mentally retarded, and can’t...
March 2009
5 posts
"So I watched Twilight last night..."
I know what you are thinking, oh gentle reader, “But Alex, you hate Twilight! Why did you watch it last night?”
The answer is I didn’t. Notice the ” ” marks on the title of this post? That’s right, someone spoke those words to me. The full sentence was something to the effect of, “So I watched Twilight last night and it actually wasn’t as bad as I...
There is a great distubance... In my pants.
So I got some new jeans the other day. Which is a pretty big deal. Ever since my favorite place to buy my denim duds, Steve & Barry’s, went under I was no longer able to get my ultra hip, ultra cheap, Kenyan slave made trousers at the unbeatable price of of $8. That’s a pretty bitching price. Well anyway, I was pretty upset about not being able to buy new jeans for the rest of my...
February 2009
1 post
January 2009
4 posts
I hate Twilight...
GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY!!!
No wait… I think gay people would be offended by being assosiated with this peice of shit fan following.
I HATE THE WHOLE FUCKING TWILIGHT FRANCHISE!!! Everything about it pisses me off. Sappy lame teenage romance. The abstinance mormon propaganda. The shitty pathetic fan following. Turning Vampires from cool bloodthirsty creatures of the night, to pathetic, whiny,...
My Probable Future (It's like looking in a...
Is the guy at 1:11 touching his member? Yikes!
WHAT THE FUCK!
Trace Gaykins
This CD…
I can just imagine TA (that’s what I call him when we’re shit kickin in the Good Times van) sitting at a table with people from the record label and producers or whatever, trying to come up with the album cover.
Record Guy : Well the album is called Ten, so maybe just the number 10 on the front?
Producer : No that’s gay. We need something with...
December 2008
2 posts
FUCKING FUCK BACKWOODS RETARDS
The Dugger Family.
I hate these freak-show fucking parasites. First off, the Father. Jim Bob. His name is seriously Jim Bob Dugger. What a fucking fuck. They are crazy religious Baptists that live in ArKansas and have fucking babies. That’s it. Look at me, I’m pregnant all the time!
I’m sick of seeing reality show bullshit about degenerate low life fucking wads that get famous...
November 2008
4 posts
Rachael Ray's Big O
This is just a random vulgar thought I had at today, so I thought I’d share it here because it was funny and that’s what a blog is for. And I guess it’s better to post something vulgar and funny than boring or lame like who I want to ask me to prom or some other such nonsense.
Anyway, I saw the title of a book today that was Rachael Ray’s Big Orange Book which is not funny...
So... these are the Inter-Nets?
This is me jumping into the whole new-fangled Web 2.0 business. Apparently, this is what I have to do to not be left in the digital dust… Whore myself out on a very public online journal. No worries though. All my fans will be glad to know that I havn’t changed one bit. I’m still the same lovable guy that loves to party, get with random chicks, drive my truck what gots 10 hemis,...